What I've Learned About Being A Successful NLD Adult

I was first diagnosed with NLD at age 19.  I was just finishing up my first year of university, and a couple of my professors had noticed something "unique" about me.  After two months of testing I was known as a non-verbal learning disabled student.  As I researched my disability more I found that almost all the information on children with NLD explained why I was the way I was when I was a child. However being in university had brought up some symptoms I had forgotten.  I had been a bit of an odd duck in high school up until my last years.  I was a black belt in karate and that made me popular in some sense, and people thought I was a "nice guy."  However, going to university brought up some old problems from middle and elementary school.  

I had a lot of trouble reading people, even from the beginning.  I would say hi to someone and tried to be cheery, then when they would be miserable in saying hi, or give me short sparse answers I would obsess over it.  I would think they were angry at me, they had heard a rumor about me, or they didn't like me.  It went on like this everyday, every hour, for months, constantly it ate away at me.  And people always asked me if I was ok, because I am not the kind of person to show his emotions very well.  Along with the other problems that come along with NLD the most severe problem was that of my "paranoid thoughts" and social problems.  I had just gotten a girlfriend, my first good relationship, all my other ones had been total disasters.  She was worried that my lack of ability to show emotions was because of her.  I wasn't able to hold her hand in public or anything, public affection was very hard for me.  Months went on, and then when I was diagnosed I realized what I could do finally to help me fight against these social problems:

Now I often have to repeat these steps again and again, it's not a one time cure, but an exercise that we NLD's must work hard at: 

1)  When faced with any negative thoughts to do with a person or social context like "why didn't this person say hi? or why don't they invite me out?"  You should try to keep rational, logical thought.  An example of this is-"Perhaps this person isn't feeling well, and not everyone thinks the way you do with
greeting others."  Just keep reminding yourself of things like that.

2)  When faced with a social situation where you don't know anyone, and you feel like an outsider, just force yourself to go up to someone introduce yourself and begin a conversation with them, then you are no longer an outsider.

3)  If your significant other wants to show a small display of public affection, do not pull away, but train yourself to respond, a little bit more each time, until you feel comfortable in such things like holding hands.

4)  And last probably the most important criteria is since we NLD's have wonderful verbal skills, why not use them?  Talk to your friends, family, loved ones, talk to them, explain what you are feeling, and ask them why they are acting the way they are, and put your fears about not being liked to rest.

I know there are many problems associated with NLD, and I have gone through most of them.  The reason I chose to focus this email on the social rather than academic is that if you work on one area of improvement all areas benefit, and this area I found gave ma a large amount of stress.  I hope
this has been helpful.


-Steven Vovk